Do You Love Yourself ?

Hello friends!

Aren't you guys glad its finally September, I know I am!

Its finally the beginning of fall! Here in Arizona we just go from summer to winter but I love this season because it means comfy sweaters and dark lipsticks! Even though its still 100 Degrees here I still like to get into that fall mood.

This month I hope to Finish a new book I just started called When God Winks At You by Squire Rushnell. The book is designed to help you recognize when God is giving you signs and it helps you understand that certain things aren't a coincidence and that they happen for a reason. Im super excited to read it because I think it will help me realize when God is talking to me.

During September I will be working towards improving my grades, I started School in July and so far I have three A's and one B but I want all A's. Im very competitive when it comes to grades and I'm always striving to be better. Idk why because I'm not that type of person in any other area of life but for some reason school always has me so pumped to be the best. I started going to Gateway community college, I'm currently in a pathway program to become a nurse and after I graduate from this program in December I will be starting block one of nursing school.

I am SOOOOO excited I've been working towards starting nursing school for what seems like forever. Its defiantly been hard, not the school part but trying to fill the title of being a college student at my age. The society we live in today pushes high school graduates to jump into college right away, choose your major (without any life experiences), and taking out a bunch of loans, only to realize that  what you poured your blood sweat and tears into for the past four years of your life wasn't exactly what you wanted. I use to feel so pressured to finish school I felt like I was running a race with time. I would put myself down and I truly felt like I wasn't good enough to live. I felt that because it didn't take me two years to graduate community college that I was failing at life. My parents would constantly ask me when I was going to graduate and sometimes I would even lie about it because I felt like they were disappointed in me. One day I finally broke down and just cried, I remember I was crying so much I had boogers running down my nose and mascara all over my face. I told my husband (boyfriend at the time) that I felt like I wasn't good enough and that I had not accomplished anything good. I told him how I felt pressure from all directions. He sat me down and helped me calm down and re-assured me that I was worthy. 

I have always struggled with feeling like I was less than I actually am, now that I have a relationship with God I'm learning to love myself as he made me. A young independent woman that is working towards her dream job. A young woman who doesn't have it all together but is striving to improve herself. I still struggle and there are times when I still feel like I'm not good enough but I'm getting better and thats what counts.

If there is anyone that is struggling with loving themselves I encourage you to seek God because he has filled a void in my heart that I could never fill in the past no matter what I did. Trying to conform to society is like putting a bandaid on, its going to cover your wounds for a little and make it seem like everything is better but eventually that bandaid will come off and all that pain and self doubt will be exposed once again. 

Im going to keep working towards my goals here on earth but I no longer put those on my list as my No.1 priority. My life now revolves around God because I have realized that life here on earth is so short and to me loosing my soul trying to gain the world is not worth it, after all I am just a visitor waiting for my ride to come take me to my real home. 

Vision Juvenil 2016

As most of you may know by now I am  a follower of Christ and I actively pursue to develop a stronger relationship with him while I am here on earth. On July 7-10 my churchs young adults took a road trip to El Paso, Texas. We decided to attend an annual Christian convention called Vision Juvenil. At this convention young adults from pretty much anywhere, but mostly its surrounding states (and Mexico) gather to learn about God, to worship him, or to restore their relationships with him. They have various activities through out the three day event and many speakers who come from within the church or different countries. I was extremely excited to go this year because I was looking to strengthen my relationship with Jesus and to ignite a fire in my heart that was slowly going dim. I recently got married and my husband and I decided before our wedding that we wanted to live differently than the rest of the world. Its definitely been hard and there are times when your tempted to fall back into your old ways but we have become stronger at remaining obedient as each day passes. We went to this convention with open hearts. I'm pretty convinced that all of us were there because we were hungry for God. We wanted to feel restored again and wanted to break chains that were holding us back. God did amazing things through all of us, he answered prayers, he mended our broken hearts and he brought us closer together. It feels amazing to be around like-minded people. As a Christian I often feel like an outsider, especially when I am around people that don't really understand my relationship with God. I am blessed to say that if I ever fall down I know I have many people willing to help me up.

The main reason why I wanted to write about Vision Juvenil, besides the fact that I like sharing my life with you guys was because I wanted to share what prayer God specifically answered for me. Through out the entire convention the leaders were promoting every one to visit the prayer room, it was located at the vary back of the building. We decided to go and visit it at the end of the second day which was on Friday, July the 8th. The room had dim lighting and chairs in different rows so that you could either stand or sit. They had a musician playing the piano at the front of the room and a vocalist singing different slow, but touching worship songs. As soon as you walked into this room you felt Gods presence, the room was not very full only about ten other people besides our own group of 15. Going to this convention we all expected to be touched through the main events and we were impacted there too but this room was different. It didn't need all the crazy lights, it didn't need all the artwork and all the instruments. God proved to us once again that prayer and especially when many are doing it together is most powerful. We were each filled with his presence we cried tears of joy and some tears of sadness. Many of us let go of those chains that we were holding on to so tightly. As I was sitting down praying I Began to talk to God about my love for him and how I wanted to follow him forever, I was declaring to him that I wanted to be different and I wanted him to break me down, I then began praying about my parents and I specifically told him that I wanted to pray for my parents love I was praying for restoration but not like before, this time with him in the center, then I moved on to my dad....Here is a quick back story first. My dad has struggled with alcoholism ever since I was a baby my dad is an extremely hard working person, he loves his family, he doesn't give up on his goals, and he is pretty funny too, but like everyone with flaws his flaw is alcohol. This is something that has gone on for many generations and its very hard for him to give it up. He has suffered through depression because of it and it has ruined many things he loves. My biggest prayer is always my Dad, I love him so much and I want him be able to have that void he has filled with Gods Love.....when I moved on to my dad I began to ask God once again to please help him, to show him the way, to touch his heart..but before I could finish a young lady about my age came up to me and told me that God wanted to tell me that there will be peace in my home. She kept repeating the word peace over and over again. She told me that I need to stop micromanaging everything, stop stressing about it because God is going to work his magic. When I heard those words I felt a sense of relief I began to cry and for the first time I truly was not worried about my dad. It was amazing how God spoke to me he finally answered my biggest prayer and made it so clear to me that he was looking out for my family. I no longer feel stressed out, its weird but I feel like I can see the future. God made me aware that he understood me and heard me crying out to him, its incredible if you think about it someone so perfect and so big hears little old me.

I am extremely happy that I am able to share my Love for God to the world through this platform, I always ask myself what can I do to make a difference in someones life and I have learned that the biggest influence you can have on someone is found in the way you live.
Our Young Adults have been meeting every week to keep the fire burning, so if your an Arizona peep who is in the chandler area leave me a comment and ill give you more info.

Here is the official Vision Juvenil Recap Video.

Im feelin' 22

Hello people of the internet, I think its been about two weeks since my last post and I can honestly say I have gotten attached to my blog, it feels like second nature to sit here and write down what I'm feeling. This past weekend was a busy one and I wanted to share it with you guys, my sister and I threw one of our best friends a mini girls getaway, I turned 22, and it was Americas birthday! I don't have many pictures because I'm still not getting the hang of capturing everything in order to show you guys but I promise I will get better. 

We flew Nancy out here on Saturday night and greeted her with a warm welcome, since it was pretty late when she got here we just went back to our hotel relaxed and caught up about whats been going on in each of our lives. We stayed at the JW Marriot Tempe at the Buttes and were very impressed with the look and feel of this hotel it was kind of like a mini resort, they had two pools, a giant water slide, and a DJ the whole fourth of July weekend they also had a spa and a restaurant called Top of the Rock. Since we did book it for the entire day on Saturday and Sunday I didn't want to let Saturday go to waste so before Nancy got there my husband and I had some fun at the pool. The next day once Nancy had arrived we woke up bright and early and hit up Matts big breakfast in down town Phoenix when we first arrived the place was kind of packed and loud, at first I was a little uneasy because I didn't know if I made the right choice but we only waited a couple of minutes and the vibe was energetic. This place was one of the best breakfast spots I've been too they open at 6 am and close at 2:30 and serve breakfast and lunch. I ordered the fresh squeezed blueberry lemonade which was the perfect combo, for my meal I had the belgian waffle with a side of thick cut bacon, the waffle was the best one I have ever had it was perfectly fluffy and had the right amount of butter and syrup and the bacon was also delicious. I also ordered a side of hash browns.  We all left that place feeling extra full because we didn't want to leave anything uneaten. After we were done with breakfast we headed back to the hotel and got ready for the pool. The pool area had a fun atmosphere, there were lots of different families celebrating the holiday and the staff made sure you had everything you needed. We had a fun time swimming and cooling off because it was extremely hot that day. We took advantage of the heat and tanned until we could not take the suns rays anymore. When we were done hanging out by the pool we went back to our room to rest. My sister and nancy took a long nap and I couldn't really sleep so I showered and watched tv for a little. When they woke up it was time for dinner so we got all dolled up and went to Postinos in down town as well. My husband and I are big fans of this restaurant because they not only serve really good food but they had affordable prices and the look of the restaurant is contemporary and fresh, I always leave feeling a little Boojie. I thought it would be perfect to show my sister and our friend how awesome this place was. 

On Monday I woke up feeling 22, I've always liked having my birthday on fourth of July because everyone is always in such a festive mood, plus I love having fireworks on my birthday. When I was little my dad used to tell me that the fireworks were because of my birthday so I always felt extra special, of course now I know they aren't but hey it doesn't hurt to pretend. This year my mom informed me that I was  rainbow baby. I had never heard of the term before so ill just tell you guys what it means. A rainbow baby is the baby that come after a miscarriage or still born pregnancy. It brings hope and they often refer to those babies as rainbow babies because they offer a sense of happiness after the storm has passed.

My friend was still in town so she showed me haw to make posole it came out delicious and surprisingly it was very easy to make.  My husband invited my sister in law over to eat and she brought me a two tiered cake in my favorite colors black and white, she knows me so well! We had planned to go watch the fire works after we dropped Nancy off at the airport but we missed her flight and it took too long trying to find another flight that we just went straight home and went to sleep. This birthday I was showered with gifts, I told my husband he was spoiling me rotten. I received a macbook pro and beats from him and he also paid for half of our girls getaway. My friend got me a laptop case and a Daniel Wellington watch, I was so surprised and felt so thankful with everyone. I felt blessed to have all my close family and friends surrounding me for another birthday celebration. I hope that this year is full of laughter and unforgettable memories with all of my loved ones, because lets face it no body likes you when your 23.... hahah 

That wraps up my weekend, what fun things did you and your family do this holiday? Leave me a comment below and don't forget to subscribe to find out when my next post is. 

Matts Big Breakfast 

My chilling' at the pool face 

Postinos Dinner 

My birthday cake was delicious